Unless I did not take hold of all I experienced in the past, put it on a shelf, and brought my hopes and dreams with me to a new place; I would have never been able find peace in where I have ended up. Neither would I have ever been able to feel like I am growing into the person I am destined to be. I knew, the moment I forgot where I came from, give up on what I have learnt, and decided covered my scars, which are reminders that I have come this far; I would have never been able to look at this hard experience we call, transition and change, as a good thing. A beautiful thing.
As intriguing and difficult as moving is, being an expat can be the most ecstatic adventure to embark on for a lifetime. It builds foundation for the future of your children and even yourself. Little moments of recognition will have you tear up of the fact that your child has come so far in this backbreaker of a journey. Their hearts will go from being broken, to dancing every day at the thought that they are home. They will walk into their new schools extremely happy, indescribably blessed, amazingly loved, and overwhelmingly confident. And every tear they would have cried was caught by you as a parent, so nothing would have been wasted.
The main way I was able to grasp the beauty in new beginnings, was the fact that I was able to realize that I receive a breathtakingly beautiful clean slate. Every time I moved, I had a chance to build my life from the ground up again in the way I was raised to. I had learnt so many lessons and grew up with so many different people that I could adapt easier and easier every time. Every major transition that came, I had the opportunity to be the best version of myself and grow maturer, wiser, and more confident in myself. Getting better and better every time.
These past 4 blog posts, have been the guidelines to the beginning of a beautiful clean slate your child gets to have, and maybe even for you. Here are some of the points that summarise all of what I have stated:
- Be a shelter for your little ones, and having your child open up to you and lay down how they feel.
- To not feel discouraged, but always encourage.
- Inspire your child to interact with positive people.
- Have them recognize that life isn’t always going to be easy
- people aren’t always going to like the way you do things, nor will everyone accept some facts about you which make them feel insecure.
- Things that happen aren’t always their fault, that the accusers and oppressors only exist to make you feel small because they don’t understand why they wont grow bigger.
- Realizing that even the worst days, have the most beautiful endings.
And finally…
- This is all a process of growing, changing, and developing a state of peace in some of the biggest storms that occur to us mentally and physically.
One cannot just simply give up during the process of change because, the moment you do, you’ll get to a place where you’re going in circles. Wondering how you will ever get out, why you aren’t feeling better, and why all the things that have happened to you before are being repeated like a broken record. The moment you come to the conclusion that you have to look forward and not back, will be the instant in which you see 10 times better and breathe 100 times easier.
Moving and losing people will never be easy, I wish it would be sometimes because I’ve lost so many people in such a short amount of time in my life. Learning to find peace in chaos will feel like swimming against a riptide, learning to leave all you have held dear will feel like ripping off a bandaid so slow that you can feel the burn. Unfortunately, there is no way to change those feelings, but by these blog posts I have written, I hope it makes the pains subside. I hope they have given you and your loved ones hope and expectations beyond the heartache. We can’t get rid of the pain completely, but we can definitely get through it, and find right ways to subside the heartache. Eventually, you’ll pause in your climb of life, and look down to see how far you’ve come without even realizing it.
About the Author
Kiara Van Der Merwe
Kiara Van Der Merwe was originally born in Johannesburg, South Africa on November 28th, 2000. Her love for people have grown strongly over the years of her expat life, her understanding for the pain within those around her has grown as she became devoted to loving people in her life before saying goodbye again due to moving very often. After nine years of constant transition, she finally settled in Frankfurt, Germany to finish school and pursue her dream of touching the hearts of those around her.